Imagine being a newly graduated nurse on your first few shifts. You are trying to remember medication protocols, prioritize patient care, complete documentation, and keep up with a ward that never seems to slow down. You have a question about a procedure you have not performed independently before. Instead of receiving guidance, you get an eye roll, a sarcastic remark, or a response that makes you feel foolish for asking.
You hesitate the next time you need help.
You are not just learning how to become a nurse anymore. You are also learning which colleagues you can trust.
This is the reality behind the familiar expression "nurses eat their young." Across discussions on Reddit, nurses have described experiences involving intimidation, exclusion, unsupportive preceptors, and criticism that leaves beginners questioning their abilities. Some have also described colleagues who stepped in to help, mentors who changed their behavior, and experienced nurses who deliberately chose to treat newcomers differently.
These stories raise an uncomfortable question: Why does a profession built around caring for others sometimes struggle to show that same care to its own?
The answer is complicated, but one thing is clear: Making a new nurse feel small does not make that nurse more competent.
When "That's How I Learned" Becomes an Excuse
One explanation that repeatedly appears in discussions about nursing bullying is the cycle of learned behavior.
Some experienced nurses remember being humiliated, shouted at, or left to struggle when they were beginners. Years later, they may reproduce similar behavior toward the next generation. The reasoning can sound familiar: They survived it, so the next nurse should be able to survive it, too.
But surviving a harmful experience does not make that experience necessary.
Consider the account of a nurse who described having a particularly unkind preceptor early in their career. Years later, the former preceptor reportedly acknowledged her behavior and apologized. The story is a reminder that people can eventually recognize the harm they have caused, even when that recognition comes long after the damage.
Not every difficult preceptor is a bully, of course. Teaching someone to become a safe, independent nurse requires honest feedback, high standards, and difficult conversations. A preceptor may need to correct a medication error, challenge poor prioritization, or explain why a particular action could put a patient at risk.
The distinction is how that correction is delivered.
There is a difference between explaining what went wrong and humiliating someone for getting it wrong. One creates an opportunity to learn. The other can leave a beginner afraid to admit uncertainty.
Professional standards should be passed down. Unnecessary humiliation should not.
Burnout Is Real. So Is the Damage It Can Cause.
Nursing is demanding work. Short staffing, heavy patient assignments, missed breaks, and constant pressure can leave experienced nurses with little energy to spare.
Now add a beginner who needs questions answered, procedures demonstrated, and documentation reviewed. For a nurse already struggling to finish a shift, teaching can feel like another responsibility piled onto an overloaded day.
This context matters. It helps explain why patience can run thin and why some nurses become resentful toward newcomers.
In Reddit discussions, nurses have described new colleagues being criticized for working too slowly while receiving insufficient orientation or assistance. In some accounts, the very people expected to teach a beginner appeared frustrated that the beginner needed teaching.
It is a contradiction worth examining.
A nurse cannot reasonably expect a new graduate to work like an experienced colleague while withholding the guidance necessary to develop that level of competence.
Of course, burnout does not automatically make someone a bully, and not every impatient interaction constitutes bullying. Sometimes nurses disagree about workloads, expectations, or clinical decisions without either person deliberately mistreating the other.
Still, exhaustion should not become a permanent excuse for cruelty.
Healthcare organizations have a responsibility to provide appropriate staffing, meaningful orientation, and support for preceptors. Experienced nurses also deserve the time and resources necessary to teach safely.
When those conditions are missing, everyone can suffer. The new nurse feels abandoned, the experienced nurse feels overwhelmed, and the team becomes increasingly frustrated.
The solution cannot simply be to tell everyone to be nicer. The working conditions that contribute to the problem need attention, too.
The Most Damaging Part May Be the Fear of Asking for Help
One of the most troubling themes in nurses' accounts is not necessarily the criticism itself. It is what happens afterward.
A new nurse who is repeatedly mocked for asking questions may eventually stop asking them. Someone who expects an eye roll every time they request assistance may try to solve problems alone rather than risk another embarrassing interaction.
That reaction is understandable, but it creates a serious concern in clinical practice.
Nurses must recognize their limitations. They need to seek clarification when an order is unclear, request assistance with unfamiliar procedures, and escalate concerns when patient safety is at risk.
A workplace that makes these actions feel shameful sends the wrong message.
One nurse described a situation involving an unfamiliar operating room assignment in which the new nurse felt they needed guidance to avoid making a mistake. The account illustrates the tension between expecting independence and providing the supervision necessary for safe practice.
Independence is developed through experience, appropriate supervision, and constructive feedback. It cannot be demanded into existence.
The same problem appears in accounts of new graduates being criticized for their emotional responses to difficult clinical experiences. A nurse who cries after a distressing event may need support, reflection, or guidance. That reaction alone does not establish whether the nurse is clinically competent.
New nurses are still developing their professional judgment. They are also human beings learning to navigate situations they may never have encountered before.
This does not mean lowering standards. It means creating an environment in which nurses can meet those standards without being afraid to acknowledge what they do not yet know.
Breaking the Cycle Starts With What We Do Next
Not every nursing workplace is toxic. Reddit discussions also contain accounts of supportive colleagues, experienced nurses who intervene when someone is being mistreated, and mentors who consciously choose a different approach because they remember how difficult their own beginnings were.
Those stories matter because they show that the culture is not inevitable.
Breaking the cycle does not require experienced nurses to tolerate unsafe practice or avoid difficult conversations. It requires them to distinguish accountability from humiliation.
It means giving specific feedback instead of relying on sarcasm. It means correcting mistakes without turning them into public spectacles. It means recognizing when a colleague needs guidance and when a performance concern requires a more formal response.
It also means expecting more from management.
When complaints are dismissed, reporting feels pointless. When retaliation is feared, witnesses may remain silent. Organizations need fair processes for investigating concerns, supporting staff, and addressing repeated mistreatment.
New nurses also have a responsibility to learn, accept feedback, recognize their limitations, and take patient safety seriously. But they should not have to earn the right to respectful treatment by proving that they can endure disrespect.
Perhaps the most important question is not whether nursing will ever be free of difficult personalities. Every profession has them.
The question is whether we will continue treating humiliation as an unavoidable part of becoming a nurse.
Someone who is new today will eventually become the experienced nurse tomorrow. They will have an opportunity to decide what kind of colleague they want to be.
They can repeat the treatment they received, or they can remember how it felt to stand on the other side of the nurses' station, uncertain and afraid to ask one more question.
The next generation of nurses does not need us to make their first years painless. It needs us to make those years a place where they can learn, make mistakes safely, and become better nurses without being made to feel that they do not belong.
Source note: This editorial draws on anonymized, paraphrased accounts and discussions among nurses on Reddit, including r/nursing, r/NursingUK, r/StudentNurse, and r/newgradnurse. These accounts illustrate individual experiences and do not establish how prevalent workplace bullying is across nursing.
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